You’re High-Functioning, But Still Hurting: How Trauma Therapy Helps. One Bozeman therapist shares her expereince.
Let’s get vulnerable.
If you're seeing this in yourself—exhausted, overworked, and still feeling like you're falling apart inside—I want you to know something:
You're not alone.
I've been there.
On paper, everything looked great. But inside? I was overwhelmed. Lost. Hurting.
I couldn’t understand why I felt so overwhelmed and disconnected, even though I was checking all the boxes.
So if you're silently wondering "What’s wrong with me?"—I want you to know: nothing is wrong with you. Your body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to. It’s trying to keep you safe.
When I Learned to Overfunction
I still remember the moment I started to overfunction.
I was 16.
I had just lost my oldest brother—my hero—to suicide.
In the months that followed, I threw myself into everything. School. Ice skating at 5 am. Two jobs. A theater production. Anything to stay busy.
And it worked. Sort of.
People praised me for how “strong” I was.
They called me impressive. Responsible. Driven.
But the truth? I was hurting. Deeply.
And eventually, my body gave out. I got sick. Burnt out. Completely depleted.
Overfunctioning became my survival strategy—and for a long time, it helped me cope. But it also kept me from healing.
What Overfunctioning Really Is
What is overfunctioning, really? It’s not just about being busy. It’s not just about working long hours or juggling a million things. At its core, overfunctioning is a trauma response. It’s a way our nervous system protects us when the world doesn’t feel safe.
In our culture, overfunctioning is rewarded.
It’s the hustle. The badge of busyness. The unspoken belief that rest = weakness.
But beneath that constant doing is often trauma.
Gabor Maté says it best:
“Trauma is not what happens to you. It’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”
From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens, overfunctioning is a ”part” of you, not all of you. It’s a protector. It was developed to help you manage pain, chaos, or emotional neglect.
Maybe being busy helped you avoid feeling lonely.
Maybe performing kept you from being criticized.
Maybe perfectionism made you feel safe.
It’s the learned belief that we can’t rely on others. That asking for help is risky. That the only way to avoid being hurt, disappointed, or abandoned is to do it all ourselves.
Overfunctioning is doing more, so we don’t have to feel. It’s numbing through action. It’s a form of self-protection masked as responsibility, competency, and care.
And here’s what makes it tricky: it works. Until it doesn’t.
You might be the person who shows up with homemade baked goods, volunteers for every school event, runs a full household, manages a demanding job, and still finds time to be the emotional support for everyone around you. And maybe you pride yourself on never needing rest, never dropping the ball.
But underneath that is a part of you that’s terrified of what would happen if you stopped. If you really let it all go. If you let someone else take care of you for once.
Overfunctioning isn’t just about overworking. It’s about carrying too much for too long. It’s about hiding your needs so well that even you forget you have them.
But here's the truth:
What helped you survive is now holding you back from truly living.
When Doing Everything on Your Own Isn’t Enough
So why does it still feel like something’s missing? Why, despite all your efforts, does life still feel like it’s pressing down on you from all sides?
Because your nervous system isn’t soothed by achievement or doing more.
It remembers the past.
It remembers what it was like to not feel seen, loved, or safe.
And it reacts accordingly—by staying busy, overachieving, people-pleasing, or numbing out.
This isn’t dysfunction. It’s survival. But it comes at a cost.
Trauma Lives in the Body
We often try to think our way out of emotional pain. But trauma doesn’t live in the mind alone—it lives in the body.
Bessel van der Kolk writes:
“The body keeps the score.”
Even when you look fine, your body may be speaking in ways you haven’t recognized.
You may feel constantly tired, even after sleeping. Your shoulders might stay tense. Your stomach might be upset more days than not. You might lie awake, unable to shut off your mind. Or you might feel oddly numb, like you’re watching your own life from the outside.
These aren’t random. They’re messages.
Your body is saying, “Something is still unresolved.”
What Trauma Therapy in Bozeman, MT Can Do
This is where trauma therapy comes in—not to “fix” you, but to help you understand yourself with compassion.
In therapy, we slow things down. We listen to the parts of you that have been carrying so much for so long. The parts that believed you had to do more, be more, carry more to be safe or loved.
In my work at ELVT Mental Health, I use Internal Family Systems (IFS) informed therapy, because I know what it’s like to have parts of you pulling in different directions—one that wants to rest and another that can’t stop moving.
We also do the work of healing in relationships. Because so many of our wounds began in relationships, and healing happens there too. Not through pressure or performance, but through real connection.
We build safety in your nervous system. We practice trusting your body again. And little by little, we make space for rest to feel safe, too.
Healing Is Not About Doing More. It’s About Coming Home to Yourself.
Trauma therapy in Bozeman isn’t about digging through your past just to relive the pain.
It’s about making space for the parts of you that never got what they needed.
It’s about building a relationship with yourself that feels safe, kind, and real.
Healing asks: Can you be gentle with yourself? Can you listen to the exhaustion without overriding it? Can you stay present with the part of you that still feels like it has to do everything?
Because when you do, something shifts. You begin to feel again—not just the weight of pain, but the lightness of joy. Connection. Peace. Fulfillment.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Healing.
So if you’re high-functioning but still hurting—there is hope.
Your body is wise. Your symptoms make sense. And your story matters.
You don’t have to keep holding it all together alone.
Therapy can be the place where you finally put down the cape.
Where you stop performing and start healing.
You’re not too much. You’re not too late.
You’re just human.
And you’re allowed to want more than survival.
If this resonates with you, know this: You’re not alone, and you don’t have to do this alone either.
Reach out. Start the conversation. It’s okay to need support.
You’ve carried so much. It’s time to be carried, too.
Embark on Your Path to Healing Today with a Trauma Therapist
Working with a trauma therapist at ELVT is not about fixing what's “wrong” with you—it’s about reconnecting with who you’ve always been underneath the adaptations that helped you survive. You don’t have to keep holding it all alone, we’re here to help.
Contact us today to learn more about our specialized counseling and therapy services or to schedule a private consultation.
Learn more about trauma recovery by exploring our blog posts and listening to our podcast.
Begin working with a therapist who makes you feel seen, valued, and heard.
Other Services ELVT Mental Health Provides in Bozeman, MT
As trauma therapists in Montana, we offer a variety of services to cater to help clients at any stage of their lives. At our boutique therapy practice, our specialties include therapy for professionals and narcissistic abuse treatment. We also provide relationship therapy, grief therapy, and counseling for depression and anxiety. Additionally, we specialize in mental health coaching for clients who may benefit.
