How to Help Your Child Feel Seen, Heard, and Supported in Hard and Stressful Times

May 17

Written By Kory Ann Rogers, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor

Let’s be real: stress doesn’t skip over our kids just because they’re little. Even if they don’t have

the words to say, “I’m overwhelmed,” they feel it. The mood swings, withdrawal, meltdowns, or

impatience—those are signs their emotional bucket might be running on empty.

So, as parents and caretakers, how do we help refill it?

Let’s explore simple but powerful ways to help your child feel safe, connected, and calm—even

when the world feels a bit much.

1. Be There—Really Be There

Start by showing up—not just physically, but emotionally. Listen without interrupting. Validate

their feelings, even if you don’t totally understand them. Avoid saying things like, “When I was

your age…” and instead, meet them right where they are.

Your presence is the connection. Let them feel it.

2. Take Them on a Mini Date

Connection doesn’t need a big budget. A walk around the block. A drive with their favorite

playlist. A few minutes of just-you-and-them.

Ask about them—not school or chores. Just them. And when they answer? Don’t jump in with

corrections. Let them wrestle with their thoughts. Let them be messy. Let them learn. Your

patience teaches them that it’s safe to try and fail.

3. Pause Before You React

When your child says something surprising—or even frustrating—pause. Breathe. Then ask

questions like, “Can you help me understand?” Then give them space for the answer.

Reacting with immediate correction shuts the door to honesty. But when you assume the best and

hold space for their side of the story? That’s trust-building gold.

4. Presence Over Perfection

Put the phone down. Close the laptop. Your child knows when you’re really with them—and

when you’re just physically nearby.

Even five minutes of true presence beats an hour of distracted multitasking. Listen to them. Hear

them. Look them in the eyes. Wherever you are, be there.

5. Respect Their Social World

Their friends matter—a lot. To them, peer approval might feel as critical as air. So when they’re

stressing about what a friend said or did, don’t brush it off. Listen with empathy, not lectures.

Chances are, they don’t need advice. They need a soft place to land.

6. Let Them Have Choices—Within Boundaries

In nearly every setting, kids are constantly being told what to do. Give them back a sense of

control—within the framework you’ve created.

Think of it like this: you design the frame, they choose what goes inside it.

Examples:

 They must shower—do they want the green towel or the blue one? Do they want to face

the wall or the showerhead?

 They need go to bed—would they prefer one book or two? Snuggles before or after?

 If something like curfew is non-negotiable— can they help choose the time and how

they’ll get home?

These small choices build big confidence. It says: “I trust you to try.” And that trust strengthens

your bond.

7. Help Them See What They Can Control

Try this activity: Have your child trace their hand. Inside the hand, they write or draw things they

can control in a tough situation. Outside the hand? Things they can’t.

Then talk about it. Helping them separate what’s theirs to carry from what’s not builds emotional

resilience and peace of mind.

The Takeaway: Connection Is the Cure

At the end of the day, the best tool for stress—for any struggle—is connection. Not perfection.

Not control. Just good, old-fashioned love and presence.

Some days it will be beautiful. Some days it won’t. But every effort you make counts. You are

doing better than you think.

Be gentle with yourself.

You’ve got this!

Kory Ann Rogers, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor

Kory Ann Rogers is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Relationship Coach, and addiction trained with an Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coaching Certificate. A graduate of Montana State University, Kory Ann has been a partner in a large group mental health practice and is also a partner at Elevate Mental Health.

With nearly three decades of experience as a devoted wife and mother of five, Kory Ann brings both personal and professional insight to her work. Her therapeutic expertise spans counseling for couples, families, individuals, and groups. She has shared her knowledge through a TEDx talk, speaking engagements, and women's groups, covering topics like grief, relationships, and parenting. Kory Ann has also served as a clinical supervisor and adjunct professor, further enriching her approach to therapy.

Drawing from a wide range of experiences, Kory Ann skillfully helps clients navigate challenges and create meaningful, lasting change in their lives. Outside of her professional work, she enjoys traveling and cherishes quality time with her family, always finding passion and purpose in her life's work.